Everybody needs a bridge

By Stan Hinden | May 2008

About
Stan Hinden

On the day I told my editor at The Washington Post that I'd decided to retire, he invited me to write a first-person column about what it was like to retire. I was surprised by the offer but I accepted the assignment and went on to write the column for the next seven years.

Although I did not realize it at the time, the column would become my personal "bridge" to retirement. It helped me slow down from the heart-thumping tempo of daily newspaper work. It gave me a new journalistic challenge. And it allowed me to write at a more relaxed pace while I adjusted to a new way of life called retirement.

This dramatic change in my life style had several other benefits, not the least of which was lowered blood pressure. Better yet, it allowed me to go back to the Post newsroom often to visit colleagues and friends I had worked with for more than two decades.

My experience at the Post convinced me that, at some point, every retiree needs to find his or her own bridge. The bridge can take many forms. As in my case, it can be a part-time extension of your work, which allows you to keep your hand in while you get used to retirement. For those who retire in their late fifties or early sixties, the bridge can be a second career, with a series of new challenges.

Or, your bridge can be based on a simple decision to spend your retirement traveling, playing golf, painting, learning to play the piano or finally getting that college degree. Many retirees choose the bridge that gives them the opportunity to serve as volunteers for charitable, religious or community groups.

What do these "bridges" have in common? Essentially, they all give retirees a chance to transfer their energies from their full-time jobs to activities that give purpose to their post-work lives and help them maintain vital social relationships.

Needless to say, all of these bridges reject the notion that you can take the "cold turkey" approach to retirement by quitting work and heading for the couch and the TV set. That, I am sure, is not the way most people want to spend the next 20 or 25 years of their lives.

The proof that we all need a suitable retirement bridge is apparent when you think about what life is like while we are still working.

Consider a typical day: Out of bed at 6 a.m. or 7 a.m., out of the house by 8 a.m., and on the job by 9 a.m. And you are likely to do that for 25 or 30 years!

Some new retirees will cheer and say "I'm sure glad I don't have to do that anymore." And, indeed, it is fine to want to get rid of your daily commute and the other burdens that come with a job — even a good job.

However, for many of us, it isn't easy to shed the ingrained sense that work is part of our lives. So, when you leave your job, don't be surprised if you begin to feel restless and even a bit confused by the sudden loss of structure. That feeling will pass but it will depart more quickly if you've chosen a bridge that will lead you to new and interesting experiences.

Then, too, there's the matter of identity. For better or for worse, many of us let our occupations become our identities. We are what we do for a living. This is often true of doctors, lawyers, corporate executives, elected officials, and yes, even newspaper reporters.

Remember, too, that when you retire, you give up the title you worked so hard to get, the perks and benefits that came with your job, and the chance to spend your days with people you have known for years.

After I retired, I often said that I didn't miss my work, with its deadline pressures. What I did miss was my workplace — the newsroom of The Washington Post — where I had many old friends and acquaintances. In short, I missed the gang at the office and the social connections that were an important part of my life at work.

And, by the way, if you are married, consider the question of how retirement may affect your relationship with your spouse. This is especially relevant where husband and wife have been working for years and have established their own independent professional lives. When they retire and find themselves home together 24 hours a day — without their professional hats — the transition may be a bit of a shock.

When my wife, Sara, and I retired, we had a long talk about our retirement goals and we worked out a schedule that gave each of us time for our own activities and time for us to do things together. That's a discussion worth having.

It seems clear to me that many of the problems that pop up during the early days of retirement can be avoided or lessened if people take the time figure out what they want do when they retire. Five years before retirement is a good time to start designing your bridge.

Admittedly, the bridge you choose will depend on many personal factors, including your age, health, energy level, interests and, perhaps, your family situation. The important thing is to make a choice-whatever it is.

The good news is that Americans are living longer and healthier lives — providing us with added years in retirement. That makes it all the more important for future retirees to decide not only when they want to retire but how they will use those extra years to make their retirement dreams come true.

The author was compensated for writing this article by AARP Financial.

While AARP endorses the services provided by AARP Financial Inc., AARP does not offer financial products or services itself and cannot recommend that you or any specific individual should purchase any particular product or service. AARP Financial Inc. is an investment adviser and a subsidiary of AARP.